The Last Song

Director: Julie Anne Robinson
Writer: Nicols Sparks, Jeff Van Wie
Starring: Miley Cyrus, Liam Hemsworth, Greg Kinnear
Release Date: March 31, 2010
Length: 1 hour 47 minutes

The Last Song. Well, we know you’ll keep singing Miley, but let’s pray this is the last of your movies. From Nicolas Sparks, the author of Dear John and The Notebook, comes another truly sickening, melodramatic love story that has made me want to poke my eyes out even more this time. Why may you ask is this film so special in comparison to the others? Well, The Last Song stars the one and only teen queen, Miss Miley Cyrus, which makes this review all the more fun. Stereotyped rebellious teenager, Ronnie (Miley Cyrus) is shipped off with her brother by her mother (Kelly Preston) to live with her distant dad (Greg Kinnear), for the summer. In this small town of Georgia, Ronnie meets Will, an attractive eighteen year old, who just won’t leave her alone. When Ronnie gives into his charms, and they fall in love (of course), Ronnie’s little brother and her realize something about their dad, which they thought had gone away. If you haven’t already guessed from the trailer, Ms. Cyrus’s acting abilities consists of pouting, storming out of rooms, kissing hot guys, and laughing like she’s in a covergirl ad. Fortunately, for her fans (of which I was subjected to in the theatre), all of that is convincing enough. Yeah, sure maybe Miley’s comedic acting isn’t bad, but let’s face it, even Hannah Montana’s writing was better than this. It is unfortunate to think that even the book, of which this film was based on, was written as a starring vehicle for Cyrus. We all know that Nicolas Sparks’ books/movies like Dear John and The Notebook, are dramatic and cheesy. In almost all his vehicles, someone has to die. Sorry for the spoiler alert, but The Last Song is no exception to Sparks’ writing pattern. Everyone that was watching the movie would think it’s okay, but as soon as that person dies, why is it that every 12 year old girl thinks this is a good movie? Does sad writing equal tears? Yes. Does sad writing equal good writing? Absolutely not. Ultimately, the combination of Sparks’ writing and Cyrus’ acting was way too much for me to handle. So please stop acting Miley, before I actually do kill myself and my blood will be on your hands. Good actors, Greg Kinnear and Kelly Preston must have been paid a lot of money to be in this, because they both have too much talent to be in this movie. Now I’m going to bite into Miley’s Australian new man candy, Liam Hemsworth, who has just become the new Taylor Lautner. Despite the fact that Mr. Hemsworth is actually dating Ms. Cyrus in real life (gag), he’s not a half bad actor and that’s saying something because frankly, this movie puts everyone in a bad light. When it comes to The Last Song, I have never felt so much physiological pain in my life, and was just happy to leave the theatre at the end. So for Mr. Sparks, try and write a story where everyone stays alive and for Ms. Miley Cyrus, I would say stick to music, but we all know your singing skills are just as bad as your acting ones.

The Runaways

Director: Floria Sigismondi
Writers: Floria Sigismondi, Cherrie Currie (author)
Starring: Kristen Stewart, Dakota Fanning
Release Date: March 19, 2010
Length: 1 hour 49 minutes

Canadian writer and director, Floria Sigismondi pulls off one of the most down to earth bio-pics ever to be put on screen, The Runaways. Starring New Moon’s Kristen Stewart as Joan Jett and Dakota Fanning as Cherie Currie, I thought The Runaways was just going to be another movie to boost their careers. Though it will, it’s definitely not for the reasons I thought. Though many people have not heard of the all girl rock band, The Runaways, many people have heard of the name, Joan Jett. In 1975, 16 year old Jett wanted to start an all girl rock group and with the help of music producer, Kim Fowley (Michael Shannon), they found three other female members for the group, including 15 year old Cherie Currie. Set from Currie’s perspective, The Runaways tells the story of the short famed rock group and what it was like growing up on the road, with sex, drugs, and rock and roll. Sigismondi dived into this project with sincerity and originality in writing, and creativity with every shot of directing. The cinematography was done perfectly, capturing the heart of the 70’s, without anything being over-the-top. The casting in this film couldn’t have been any greater. Taking back what I have said about her in the past, Kristen Stewart can be an extraordinary actress when given the right role. Stewart fit the role of Jett like a glove and no one else could have given as real of a performance than she gave. This is by far Stewart’s best performance. The real scene-stealer from beginning to end was academy award nominee, Michael Shannon (Revolutionary Road) as The Runaways’ eccentric producer, Kim Fowley. Every line that came out of his mouth either made me laugh or gasp in shock. Shannon gave an out-of-body performance, that probably holds true to the real Fowley, wherever he is now. 16-year-old child actor, Dakota Fanning steps into transitional shoes as The Runaways’ lead singer, Cherie Currie. The fact that Sigismondi chose someone that was the actual same age as Currie at the time was a big risk, but made the performance seem more real. I couldn’t believe myself that I was watching the 6-year old from I am Sam, snorting cocaine and kissing Kristen Stewart. All things aside, Fanning gave a wonderful and mature performance in this film. Fanning’s and Stewart’s voices on the soundtrack of the film weren’t bad either, singing Cherry Bomb, Queens Of Noise, and Dead End Justice. Of course, there are the clichés of every other bio-pic in The Runaways, like the band loving the fame, and then letting it get to them, and the lead singer getting more credit, but the dialogue and acting in this film make up for it. This is the first feature film of Sigismondi, and I can only hope she continues to write and direct more outstanding films like The Runaways.

How To Train Your Dragon

Directors: Chris Sanders, Dean Beblois
Writers: Chris Sanders, Dean Deblois, Cressida Cowell (author)
Starring: Jay Baruchel, Gerrard Butler
Release Date: March 26, 2010
Length: 1 hour 38 minutes

From the director of Lilo and Stitch comes another adorable animated family film, How To Train Your Dragon. Set in the Viking times of a town called Burk, Hiccup (Jay Baruchel) is the impish teenage son of the great Stoick (Gerard Butler), with no expectations. When Burk is attacked by dragons (which occurs often), Hiccup sneaks out of his house to try and catch a dragon. He does and no one believes him. When Hiccup finds the dragon a few days later and can’t find the courage to kill him, he lets him free and comes up with an original idea to train this adorable creature. Hiccup names the dragon, Toothless and starts what may create a revolution within the town of Burk. Jay Baruchel is on a roll of great films with She’s Out Of My League and now How To Train Your Dragon. He is the perfect voice of Hiccup and in my opinion, he should voice every animated teenage boy, with his awkwardly funny voice that everyone just can’t get enough of. America Ferrera does good voice work as Hiccup’s love interest, Astrid and Gerard Butler finally get’s to use his thick Scottish accent as Hiccup’s father. Jonah Hill, Kristen Wiig, T.J. Miller and Christopher Mintz-Plasse are all hilarious as Hiccup’s friends and talk show host Craig Ferguson lends his Scottish accent to the film as Gobber, Hiccups mentor and Stoick’s good friend. Although I have seen some great films this month, How To Train Your Dragon was surprisingly the most enjoyable for me to watch. Based on the children’s book by Cressida Cowell, How To Train Your Dragon has one of the most original, clever, simple scripts, written for a children’s movie. Everything happening in the movie is for the one simple plot played out in the film. Now I would usually add my comments on the imperfections of this great film, but I’m all out of answers. If that means less writing for me, it also means less reading for you. How To Train Your Dragon has one of the most genuinely touching stories displayed on screen and the 3D effects aren’t bad either. How To Train Your Dragon is a must see for all ages.

She's Out Of My League

Director: Jim Field Smith
Writers: Sean Anders, John Morris
Starring: Jay Baruchel, Alice Eve
Release Date: March 12, 2010
Length: 1 hour 43 minutes

Molly’s a ten. Kirk’s a five. She’s Out Of My League ranks at about a 9 and a half. Set in Pittsburg, Pennsylvania, Kirk, an unattractive twenty something airport security guard meets Molly, a gorgeous from head to toe, event planner about to aboard a flight at the airport. When Kirk finds Molly’s phone that she left by accident, the two meet again at one of her planned parties so he can give it back to her. She offers him free tickets she has to a hockey game and tells him to bring a friend. Believing himself to be set up with Molly’s friend Patty (Krysten Ritter), Kirk is almost speechless to find out, from Patty, that Molly is – brace yourself - actually into him. Can his confidence level and friend’s opinions influence the relationship? Two questions. How can a 10 go for a 5? How can this premise result in a great movie? One answer. It’s unlikely, but possible. The writers of Sex Drive finally give people some clarity as to why the knock out woman always ends up with the unattractive guy. I say thank you to the writers for diving into this reoccurring theme, a little deeper than other romantic comedies. She’s Out Of My League is one of the few movies where everyone is cast perfectly and there are no “prop” actors who just stand there in the scene. Every actor had at least a few laughs. Canadian actor Jay Baruchel (Knocked Up, Tropic Thunder) is the perfect choice for the role of Kirk, with his awkward, funny, kind of cute personality that we have seen in most of his films. The beautiful lead, Molly is played by British actress Alice Eve (Starter For Ten). Of course, she is eye candy to not only audience, but quite obviously the characters in the movie as well. Nevertheless, she holds her ground as a strong character that has a brain in addition to her boobs. Krysten Ritter, T. J. Miller and Nate Torrence are just some of the other cast members who are equally hilarious as Kirk and Molly’s friends. This film is rated 14A and yes it’s a little inappropriate but I am glad to see that She’s Out Of My League is one of the few guy’s comedies that isn’t completely filled with nudity, swearing, or disgusting sex talk. This film proves that a comedy for guys doesn’t have to be completely inappropriate. There are many moments of this film that are borderline cheesy or predictable. So, just when I don’t want this unique film to cross that line, it surprises me by making these used clichés original and hilarious, although the cliché is still there. It’s funny. It’s adorable. She’s Out Of My League is surprisingly one of the best romantic comedies that have come out in a long time.

Remember Me

Director: Allen Coulter
Writer: Will Fetters
Starring: Robert Pattinson, Emile De Ravin
Release Date: March 12, 2010
Length: 1 hour 53 minutes















Teenage hearthrob, Robert Pattinson takes a serious role in Allen Couter’s Remember Me. The film is about Tyler Hawkins, a 21-year old, going to school and living in New York City, prior to 9/11. Tyler is a misunderstood, smoking university student who has a distant father (Pierce Brosnan) and a 12-year-old sister (Ruby Jerins). After a drunken night with his best friend, Aidan, Tyler is put into jail by an aggressive cop (Chris Cooper). When Tyler is bailed out of jail, his best friend convinces him to go out with the cop’s daughter, Allie, played by Emile De Ravin. Not knowing about her father arresting him, Allie agrees to go out with Tyler and the two start to develop a real relationship. In Remember Me, Robert Pattinson is refreshingly not a lovestruck vampire, or a teenage wizard, or Salvador Dali. He’s actually just a normal guy. Still brooding? Kind of, but we’ll take what we can get. What I like about this film is that although the film focuses around his character, we get to know a lot about the other characters in the movie as well, so they’re not just props in his life. Emile De Ravin is a refreshing young Australian actress, who holds her own as Allie, so she isn’t just drooling over Robert Pattinson. De Ravin and Pattinson create a genuine romance between their two characters that is believable and adorable at the same time. Their relationship is kept light and isn’t always intense. Pierce Brosnan does a powerful performance as Tyler’s father, Charles. He makes it so, at times, we hate his character and yet at other times, we feel sympathy for him. He’s officially redeems himself for me after his performance in Mamma Mia. Chris Cooper is also intriguing as Allie’s father. He, as well as Brosnan, leaves the audience torn as to whether to like him or hate him. It may seem clichéd that one of these fathers is abusive, and the other one distant but the film does a great job of explaining this. The film intrigued me at the beginning. My intrigue lessened midway through, but my interest really picked up within the last 30 minutes of the film and that’s what made me decide I liked this film very much. There were cheesy moments, or predictable lines in scenes with Chris Cooper, but there was also witty dialogue and clever lines in scenes between Emile De Ravin and Robert Pattinson. Remember Me is not a sappy, typical, coming of age story as is often the case today. It is a realistic love story, and a poignant portrayal of what the death of loved ones can do to people.

Alice In Wonderland

Director: Tim Burton
Writers: Linda Woolverton, Lewis Carol (author)
Starring: Mia Wasikowska, Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter
Release Date: March 5, 2010
Length: 1 hour 49 minutes

Alice, Alice, Alice. The world has been familiar with Lewis’s Carols character for almost 150 years. Based off the two children’s novels, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Through The Looking Glass, and the animation film Alice In Wonderland that came out in 1951, this curious girl has finally been made into a live action character in a live-action film. Who better to deliver this film than visionary (some may say creepy) director, Tim Burton (Corpse Bride, Edward Sisscorhands)? This adaption of Alice In Wonderland is slightly different from ones we have seen before. In the movie, Alice is an independent 19-year-old living in the Victorian era and has just been proposed to by the ugly, impolite, rich lord Hamish Not wanting to marry Hamish, Alice steps away to get some air and accidentally falls into a hole which leads to Underland, a place she only dreams about every night. While thinking this is a dream, Alice explores this magical world, filled with a rabbit with a clock (Michael Sheen), a smoking caterpillar (Alan Rickman), a set of large twins, and the unforgettable crazy Mad Hatter (Johnny Depp). Alice is told from numerous talking creatures that she has been here before, 13 years ago and she is the only one to defeat the queen of hearts (Helena Bonham Carter), by slaying the queen’s Jabberwocky.  Alice begins to realize maybe this land is not a figment of her imagination after all. Now with a movie directed by Tim Burton, you will almost always get a movie starring Johnny Depp and sometimes Helena Bonham Carter in a supporting role. I can tell you there is no better trio that can top them. Johnny Depp, as usual, gives a brilliant performance that makes us question his sanity once more. Who really stole the screen for me, however, was none other than Tim Burton’s wife, Helena Bonham Carter as the queen of hearts. She was hilarious, frightening, and clearly insane all at the same time. She most likely scared the children in the theater, and made them laugh the most, but she was a real treat for the whole audience. Anne Hathaway was fairly decent as the good natured White Queen, and Crispin Glover was fairly creepy as Ilosovic Stayne, the knave of hearts. Again we wonder if Tim Burton, Helena Bonham Carter, and Johnny Depp are in their right minds, but who the hell cares when they make such amazing films together? I was worried when I first heard of this film that Tim Burton would turn Alice In Wonderland into a hallucinogenic 3D film that wasn’t for children and only for adults. I know now that everything in this film was not only true to the book, but also true to the books intentions. This movie is definitely for kids, there’s no question about it, but that doesn’t mean adults can’t enjoy it either. I felt that somehow because this film is intended for children, it was lacking in complexity. The storyline was kept simple, so that children would understand it better, so for the adults there isn’t much to figure out. My favourite director, Tim Burton always delivers only the most creative films for entire families to enjoy. Alice in Wonderland is no exception to that rule.