The Last Song

Director: Julie Anne Robinson
Writer: Nicols Sparks, Jeff Van Wie
Starring: Miley Cyrus, Liam Hemsworth, Greg Kinnear
Release Date: March 31, 2010
Length: 1 hour 47 minutes

The Last Song. Well, we know you’ll keep singing Miley, but let’s pray this is the last of your movies. From Nicolas Sparks, the author of Dear John and The Notebook, comes another truly sickening, melodramatic love story that has made me want to poke my eyes out even more this time. Why may you ask is this film so special in comparison to the others? Well, The Last Song stars the one and only teen queen, Miss Miley Cyrus, which makes this review all the more fun. Stereotyped rebellious teenager, Ronnie (Miley Cyrus) is shipped off with her brother by her mother (Kelly Preston) to live with her distant dad (Greg Kinnear), for the summer. In this small town of Georgia, Ronnie meets Will, an attractive eighteen year old, who just won’t leave her alone. When Ronnie gives into his charms, and they fall in love (of course), Ronnie’s little brother and her realize something about their dad, which they thought had gone away. If you haven’t already guessed from the trailer, Ms. Cyrus’s acting abilities consists of pouting, storming out of rooms, kissing hot guys, and laughing like she’s in a covergirl ad. Fortunately, for her fans (of which I was subjected to in the theatre), all of that is convincing enough. Yeah, sure maybe Miley’s comedic acting isn’t bad, but let’s face it, even Hannah Montana’s writing was better than this. It is unfortunate to think that even the book, of which this film was based on, was written as a starring vehicle for Cyrus. We all know that Nicolas Sparks’ books/movies like Dear John and The Notebook, are dramatic and cheesy. In almost all his vehicles, someone has to die. Sorry for the spoiler alert, but The Last Song is no exception to Sparks’ writing pattern. Everyone that was watching the movie would think it’s okay, but as soon as that person dies, why is it that every 12 year old girl thinks this is a good movie? Does sad writing equal tears? Yes. Does sad writing equal good writing? Absolutely not. Ultimately, the combination of Sparks’ writing and Cyrus’ acting was way too much for me to handle. So please stop acting Miley, before I actually do kill myself and my blood will be on your hands. Good actors, Greg Kinnear and Kelly Preston must have been paid a lot of money to be in this, because they both have too much talent to be in this movie. Now I’m going to bite into Miley’s Australian new man candy, Liam Hemsworth, who has just become the new Taylor Lautner. Despite the fact that Mr. Hemsworth is actually dating Ms. Cyrus in real life (gag), he’s not a half bad actor and that’s saying something because frankly, this movie puts everyone in a bad light. When it comes to The Last Song, I have never felt so much physiological pain in my life, and was just happy to leave the theatre at the end. So for Mr. Sparks, try and write a story where everyone stays alive and for Ms. Miley Cyrus, I would say stick to music, but we all know your singing skills are just as bad as your acting ones.