Percy And The Olympians: The Lightning Thief

Director: Chris Colombus
Writers: Craig Titley, Joe Stillman, Rick Riordan (author)
Starring: Logan Lerman, Brandon T. Jackson
Release Date: February 12, 2010
Length: 1 hour 58 minutes

Based on the incredible children‘s novels, and directed by Chris Columbus, Percy Jackson and The Olympians: The Lighting Thief is only the first installment of what’s to be another ridiculous, money making franchise that will just empty your pockets. So do yourself a favour and empty them another way. Percy Jackson (Logan Lerman) is a dyslexic, misunderstood teenager living in New York City with his mother and her disgusting pig of a boyfriend. One day on a field trip at school, with his best friend Grover (Brandon T. Jackson) and handicapped teacher, Chiron (Pierce Brosnan), Percy discovers he is a demi god (half human, half god) from a teacher-turned flying beast that tries to kill him. Percy discovers that Grover is really his protector, that’s half goat and his teacher is really a centaur. Percy’s mom takes him to a camp that is filled with demi gods like Percy. Here he discovers that his father, who he’s never met, is really Poseidon. On the way though, while fighting a Minotaur, his mother dissolves into thin air. Percy is taken to this camp because the gods accuse him of stealing Zeus’s lightning bolt, which he didn’t do. When Percy finds out Hades’s has his mother, he, Grover and his new friend Annabeth set out on a quest to the Underworld to find her, and return Zues’s bolt to him before the summer solstice. Will time run out? Greek Mythology is finding it’s way back into pop culture with this movie and the new remake of Clash Of The Titans. Many parents are taking their kids to this movie because they think it will be educational. If you really want to educate your kids, they should read the original novels written by Rick Riordan. Newcomers Logan Lerman and Alexxandra Diadro could very well be the best actors of our generation, but who could honestly tell with the script they were given. Brandon T. Jackson was hilarious in Tropic Thunder in 2008, and if I ever enjoyed any part of this movie it was because of.  Unfortunately for Jackson, he is typecast as the loud mouth, black, ladies man of a best friend to the main character and everyone knows it. Horrific lines drown other great actors like Catherine Keener, Uma Thurman, Steve Coogan and Rosario Dawson. Director Chris Columbus has a thing for children’s films with Harry Potter 1 & 2, which were both great films and Adventures In Babysitting.  So how could he take a wonderful children’s series, with a great adult cast and flush it down the toilet. Maybe it was the script, maybe it was the special effects, but something, at some point went wrong with Percy Jackson And The Olympians: The Lightning Thief. This disaster is filled with bad acting, poor writing, and laughable action sequences. Damn it all to Hades.